so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
