Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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