Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
