he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
