doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
