Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
