i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
