I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
