even my farts smell like vagina
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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