Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
