yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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