Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Found your dick twin last night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
