yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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