do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
