Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
