I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
