did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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