Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
