College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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