You just made me feel so damn special
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
