I don't think brook has ever known best
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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