well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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