i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
