No subtext here. People are naked.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
