I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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