Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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