and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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