I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
