think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
