C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
