How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
