At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Im part way to drunk.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
