so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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