I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I don't deserve a penis
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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