when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You don't make any sense
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