i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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