It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
