maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
