I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His nipple licking is glorious
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
