were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
