Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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