He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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