I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
