But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Damn victory sex feels great
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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