How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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