better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
