i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
dude. I can hear the air.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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