Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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