i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
