no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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