I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
