Can Purell be used as lube?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
